Last night was the last redemption group session.  This upcoming Sunday we will have our Celebration where we worship and read our personal psalms in front of the church.  I am excited for that night, but it is funny to think of celebrating because I know the fight is not over.

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We had our next to last redemption group last night.  The discussion focused on the tricks we believe as a means of lasting change instead of believing in the lasting change that comes from the hope we have in Christ.  Of the tricks mentioned, I most identify with “morbid introspection.” Introspection in and of itself is not a completely bad thing; however, thinking that my ability to figure out what is wrong with me and how to fix it is hope placed in myself instead of Jesus. Read More…

I am already broken over the stories of sin, pain, and suffering within our church as we begin our series Sex, Singleness, & Marriage. In our religious context I believe the enemy has used shame and our desire for a perfect image to keep habitual sexual sin, rape, pornography, sexless marriages, and much more in the dark. I believe the Spirit is going to bring many things to the surface. Read More…

At Redemption Group this week we talked about repentance, what it looks like, and common counterfeits to it.  A few of the counterfeits really resonated with me. One was “mere confession,” where I don’t go any further than simply talking about my sins in an effort to feel better with no real desire or intention to turn from it.  But the one I really saw as a pattern for me was “worldly grief,” which is counterfeit to godly grief, and something I am more prone to stand in.  Read More…

Life was difficult this week. I walked into redemption group emotionally drained with all that had been going on with my family, and like I said, just life. Throughout the week I had been pretty honest about what was going on in my world with my city group and other friends, and since most of the others in my redemption group know me well, most of them knew about my week and my present circumstances. Read More…

Part of the redemption group process is writing a personal psalm. The leaders have encouraged us work on this from the beginning of Redemption Groups. Writing my psalm was a pretty neat opportunity to express back to God the revelation and conviction He has provided over the past few weeks. And I had plenty to write about and rejoice in.
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The reading this week really hit home with me. The author spoke about unforgiveness as the height of selfishness. I don’t think it stuck out to me because I’m a habitually unforgiving individual, but rather because it highlighted all the different ways I find to be selfish. Last week the Lord was kind enough to show me how even my desire for him turns self-seeking as a way to calm my emotional distress. It’s awful. My self is the most stubborn, poisonous weed I’ve ever had to battle, and since it’s me I’m battling, I don’t know how much my heart is in the fight. I need Jesus so much, always; I’ll never not need him. Read More…

This was a tough week, one where the group leaders honed their skills in confrontation, and in God’s sovereignty I was the source of inconsistency they confronted. They asked what picture of redemption I had painted, in other words, what do I expect from God.  I was only able answer that question after what seemed like light years of inescapable, deliberate, loving interrogation. Read More…

Last week after we told our stories, we were warned that this week we were going to switch gears, pick up shovels and start digging. Scary, huh? Read More…

I try to be really careful of my expectations, which is why I was in uncomfortable territory since Redemption Groups started last weekend.  I didn’t know what to expect; except Jesus and practically I didn’t know how to expect him in a small group counseling type setting.  I also knew that, as a participant, I was expected to be vulnerable. Typically I don’t like being emotional, and I don’t enjoy being vulnerable, so here is how my first week of Redemption Group went: Read More…

When people ask me to explain Redemption Groups I usually refer to the basic definition from Mike Wilkerson: “A Redemption Group™ is an intense small group that digs deep into difficult and seldom-discussed areas of life, such as abuse, addiction, and trials of all sorts…Far beyond Bible study, Redemption Groups are about life study—your life connecting with Jesus’ life. Participants challenge one another, and the Word reveals hearts.” Read More…

The first group time was referenced a few times on the last night of group.  It seemed so distant, but it was really only 8 weeks ago that we begun to dig into each other’s lives.  The transformation that has already taken place in each of us in that short time is amazing. Read More…

It’s a funny thing (not laugh out loud funny) how the theme in the text for each week plays out in our lives as well.  It is also amusing how we were taught that is nothing short of miraculous when the Lord allows us to see our own sin, and then we witnessed that very miracle in our group time.

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All Paradoxians and friends are invited to a night of prayer, worship, and communion, and to hear stories of redemption from our Redemption Group participants.

Please join us! It will be family style (no childcare). All are invited; bring your family, friends, neighbors. Read More…

I have enjoyed how the atmosphere at group has changed since we first started meeting from one of trepidation to something else entirely.  It’s like coming together with family.  We have opened our lives up to each other to such an extent that there really is not a lot of pretense, there is only the knowledge that those around you are fighting the same fight, alongside and with you.

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“What have you repented of, and what are you believing about the gospel in light of that repentance?”

That was the question we were posed with as we went around the room and shared.  We have spent several weeks digging up our idols, making them apparent to ourselves and one another, and now its time to get into the real good work: the work of repentance.

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This is Really Meant For You

“Have you repented about anything that has been brought up over the last few weeks?”

I knew I was supposed to do something.

I had been festering over all my sinfulness and not bringing it all before the Lord, laying it at the cross, praying for Him to make me new and help me to worship Him and Him alone. But, when I don’t trust the Lord’s control in my life, when I make Jesus’ work on the cross small, and when I worship my own ability, control, and desire, it is hard to see a need for repentance.

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I think we are getting to the place in the process where we have a reasonably accurate idea of what to expect when we walk in the doors.  We have gotten to a place, too, where we are more familiar with each other, and although there is still a feeling of vulnerability, it definitely feels safer.  These are all things I expected would happen the more we meet together.

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“What do I do?”

I was aware that I was asking the wrong question, but every part of me was frustrated that there was clearly not going to be an answer to it.

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I was overwhelmed walking into our Tuesday night session.  I left feeling something much different: conviction.

After some teaching we broke into our groups and got right down to business, and as we began do dig deeper into a participant, as I anticipated, I felt like we were digging deeper into me as well.  Our leaders were not pulling any punches, minimizing any sin, or trying to soften any blows.  It was an all out assault on idolatry and sin in the life of the participant, and I loved it. Read More…