Moments in Motherhood: Back to School
As I scroll through my feed, I see another sweet babe dressed in their new outfit ready for their first day at school, mother’s day out, and day care. Before I know it, that all too familiar feeling of insecurity begins to swell up inside of me. When we made the decision for me to stay at home – enriching activities, play dates with friends, and educational outings filled my dream world of what life would look like at home with little ones. More often than not, it’s a lot of laundry, diaper changing, disciplining, and even loneliness as I navigate the murky waters of motherhood. I feel myself desperate for a break from the mundane and craving for my life to measure up to those around me.
A few days rolled by and my thoughts ping ponged with these questions: “Will he be behind if he’s not in preschool this fall?” “Why can’t Jeff make more money so that we could afford it?” “I’m eight months pregnant with a toddler, I need this.”
A couple of weeks prior to this, I had begun a scripture memorization plan. His timing is so sweet, as I began to meditate on the verse for that week:
“My beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.” I Corinthians 15:58
Motherhood in all its differences between each of us is hard work. You may work full time or have six kids, but we all know the physical exhaustion and mental fatigue as we wrangle children and question each decision we make for our family. I Corinthians reminds me that the work I do as a boo-boo kisser, bottom wiper, cheerleader, and pb&j maker all glorify the Lord and disciple me more and more into His image. This is the work put before me in this season of life: His work, kingdom work. He reminds me that as I delight in Him and His word that I would be “like a tree planted by streams of water that yields good fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither” (Psalm 1:3). The long days wouldn’t crush me, His Word would sustain me and I in turn would worship Him.
So as God revealed His answer to my questions, He reminded me that His desire is for my hope and my refreshment to come from Him. When during my day I am looking for a nap, a compliant child, or daddy to come home to bring relief, I would cling to Him. For this year, the answer was “no” and I’m actually thankful for that answer and thankful that he met me in my unbelief of finding any comfort apart from Him.
by Bailey Green