The Paradox Church

Portrait Of Godly Lovemaking

A portrait shows what something looks like. This is an attempt to display godly lovemaking by our friends at the Association of Biblical Counselors.

Godly lovemaking is a rich part of a marriage relationship between one man and one woman. It is an activity that is reserved exclusively for marriage. While couples may share emotional intimacy, spiritual intimacy, and expressions of affection with other brothers and sisters in Christ, the marriage bed is God’s wonderful gift exclusively for married couples. Since making love is a gift to a married couple, outside expressions of sexuality, including the use of pornography, illicit material, self-pleasuring, outside relationships, fantasy, lust, etc., are earnestly avoided.

“Lovemaking is an overflow from, expression of, and contributor to an affectionate, caring, God-honoring relationship.”

Godly physical intimacy does not begin in the bedroom. It is one expression of a general affection that occurs between two people in a marriage who love God and each other and who express affection to each other in a number of ways. Lovemaking is an overflow from, expression of, and contributor to an affectionate, caring, God-honoring relationship. It not only flows from a good relationship but also adds a unique and necessary element to building a great marriage. Both the husband and the wife understand that their bodies are not theirs alone but belong equally to each other. Both spouses are diligent to understand and operate with sensitivity to the uniqueness and wonder of their spouse’s body. Both seek to understand their own bodies in order to share them joyfully with their partner. Spouses prayerfully and diligently seek to overcome any resistance or “hang- ups” to sharing their bodies fully and joyfully with their partner.

As with all of the Christian life, spouses look out for the interest of their partner before their own. The best lovemaking is when both spouses are unselfishly seeking the pleasure, care, and nurture of their partner above their own. As with all things in life, lovemaking should be done with passion to honor Christ, not done haphazardly, resentfully, or reluctantly. Couples share themselves freely with their partner in joyful and frequent lovemaking. It is a couple-owned experience in which both partners pursue the pleasure and intimacy of their partner while also participating in their own enjoyment and intimacy.

Check it out in Scripture! Song of Solomon, 1 Corinthians 7:3-7, Hebrews 13:4, Philippians 2:1-11 and others!

Other Portraits: Repentance, Marriage, Husband, Wife, Love, Communication, Sex As Worship