The Road to Pregnancy
Ryan and I struggled with trying to get pregnant for more than year. We prayed without fail every single day and felt extreme disappointment every month when we realized we weren’t pregnant. Our CG shared in our heartbreak and prayed with us and for us. But it was a challenging journey nonetheless. I recall the 6-month mark being a particularly important milestone that seemed to darken our spirits.
One Sunday in March, I spent a few minutes talking to Pastor Jim about our struggles. He encouraged us to talk to Pastor AJ about what we were experiencing. Not knowing how to broach the topic, I procrastinated until the Holy Spirit gave me an opportunity in May 2017. AJ asked us to read and meditate on James 5:14-15 and to meet with him the following Sunday (his last before Sabbatical) to be anointed with healing oil.
Not coming from churches that practiced this growing up, we were both a little unsure of what to expect. The time was spent talking about what this passage meant, the challenges we were facing as well as the sin that had taken root in our hearts. Our sin was mainly one of entitlement that led to anger with God and with each other. Once we spoke it out loud and took solace in the grace given to us by Jesus, we felt lighter (joyful repentance). AJ anointed us and he and Kaynenn prayed over us, asking God to move. At the same time, AJ counseled us to seek contentment with whatever God’s plan was for us. I recall him saying that he hoped we would have good news for him when he returned from sabbatical but that there were no promises.
About 2 months later, we went through testing with our doctors, which took a couple of months. On Tuesday, August 15th, we learned we had a 15% chance of conceiving, and that we should consider other options. The day we learned this was heartbreaking for us. I know I had to walk through a different path to a family and trust that the Lord would never leave us in that journey. But it was devastating to hear, especially for someone who loves numbers and data as much as I do. My brother reminded us that 15% is still bigger than 0%. In our pain, we still went to the Lord and laid out the raw emotions we were experiencing. It wasn’t pretty but it was honest. We shed so many tears and shared our heartbreak with our family.
On Saturday, August 19th, that same week, we learned we were pregnant as I had taken a pregnancy test on a whim! That day we experienced the absolute faithfulness of God firsthand. When we thought all was lost, God moved. This was about His glory shining through circumstance. That Sunday, we got to share our news with AJ (right upon his return from sabbatical). We shared with our families and CG and through this, we got to share the Gospel with many of our acquaintances.
We were never promised a pregnancy. And through that understanding we realized we were never promised a healthy and safe delivery. But the Lord blessed us with a healthy baby boy on May 4th 2018. Henry is a living, breathing testimony to God’s glory and blessing in our lives.
Partner at the Paradox Church