Suicide, Depression, and Mental Illness
Written by Jim Essian, published September 2019.
I learned of another pastor who took his own life Monday night. It seems like every month or so I jump on Twitter or get a text about a fellow pastor who is now with Jesus. Recently I've been walking with a friend through severe depression and suicidal ideation, and it's difficult and weighty and really hard when you feel ill-equipped and uninformed.
When I first started TPC, two pastors I knew had just taken their life. I was pretty naive and didn't understand how common it actually is. One of them was a mentor of sorts...I saw him once a month, and then he was gone. This week is National Suicide Prevention Week. And so I thought I'd send a quick email to hopefully equip, comfort, and create a bit of awareness around the subject.
It's important to differentiate between depression and suicidal ideation.
Depression is persistent and deep sadness or apathy (more than 2 weeks by definition). As I mentioned on Sunday, fueling the fire of our hope is important—especially during bouts of depression. Charles Spurgeon, the great London preacher of the 19th century famously suffered with depression his entire life, and saw it as a prison keeping him from hope: "The iron bolt [depression]...mysteriously fastens the door of hope and holds our spirits in a gloomy prison." And yet he found the fight to believe an antidote, "the worst forms of depression are cured when Holy Scripture is believed."
The average clinical episode of depression lasts nine months. It will end. One of our leaders and licensed counselors encourages us to, "have a right understanding about emotions—we are the boss of them, they are not the boss of us." We hope for our people to walk openly with their community through it. Tell someone, keep telling them. You are not a burden. If it’s serious and persistent talk to a counselor who can help train you in ways to gain authority over your emotions and help equip you with skills to come out stronger.
Suicidal thoughts: There is a difference between “passive” and “active” suicidal thoughts. Passive thoughts would be, “I wish I didn’t have to deal with this anymore,” or "I wouldn’t mind if something happened to me." If you hear this from a brother or sister in the church, we should always probe for more. We always ask, “Have you thought of ending your own life?” “Have you thought of how you would do it?” With any suicidal ideation (active thoughts) we should always refer to counseling with urgency and with following up. Our job isn’t done once they go into the hospital of counseling, we should keep checking in on them.
The stigma around depression and suicide in the church needs to end. The Gospel we proclaim states both that we are all completely broken by sin—in our heart, soul, mind, and body—and, that Jesus has inaugurated a complete restoration of all that sin has broken through his death and resurrection. Yes, Christians that commit suicide are still saved. No, depression is not necessarily just a spiritual issue.
David Foster Wallace, who attempted suicide multiple times and hung himself in 2008, explained suicide as like someone who jumps to their death from a burning building: "When the flames get close enough, falling to death becomes the slightly less terrible of two terrors. It’s not desiring the fall; it’s terror of the flames." And unless we know the terror of depression, we don't understand how suicide becomes an option. Spurgeon said the same thing: “I think it would have been less painful to have been burned alive at the stake than to have passed through those horrors and depressions of spirit.”
Mike Cosper has good insight for how we might respond: In 1 Kings 19, Elijah is forced to flee into the wilderness. There, he collapses and begs God to end his life. Instead, God lets him sleep, miraculously provides him food and drink, and does it again: sleep, then food. God cares for Elijah’s body and Elijah’s soul. Only after he’s physically recovered does Elijah retire to a cave and begin, once again, to hear the Lord speak and call him into action.
It’s a picture of holistic care. Elijah lacked rest. For those who are depressed among us, it may be because their brains aren’t producing enough serotonin. They may not process folate properly. Perhaps stress and fatigue have left their neurons shot. Maybe it's years of stuckness in a traumatic state. There may be any number of physical, biological, or neurological reasons that people find themselves trapped in a metaphorical burning building, and we’d be wise not to speak too glibly or simplistically to them or about them.
Instead, we might offer them what God offers: a safe place to come and rest.
For more info or if you need help please tell us and/or check out these resources:
Call or text the MHMR hotline: 817-335-3022
Revelation 21:3–5
And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. [4] He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” Also he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”