Kids In Community
Author: Annie Williamson
Bio: Annie is a partner at The Paradox Church and has attended TPC for seven years. She is a member of the Linwood City Group and currently serves as the leader for Prdx Kids CARE, our special needs ministry. Annie is a speech-language pathologist and works with preschool-age children in the public schools.
I have long attended churches that organize community groups by age or life stage. When I joined my first City Group at The Paradox Church (TPC) as a single, kid-less 22-year old graduate student, I was unsure about how I fit in amongst the parents, the marrieds, the newborns, and school-age kiddos. I was largely unhelpful in that first City Group filled with children. Over the next seven years and four City Group multiplications, the Lord has been kind to teach me the value of being in community with families and children. Along the way, there have been logistical elements to navigate in City Groups with children. However, consideration of things like feeding schedules, bedtime, and childcare have not been inconveniences to be sorted, but an opportunity to love and care for brothers and sisters as we are instructed (Romans 12:10).
Most children are non-believers and City Group is a discipleship opportunity. Consider our response when an adult non-believer attends a City Group. We are often eager to engage in friendship, share our stories, answer questions, and tell them the good news of Jesus and how that affects them personally. Our response should not be any different when the non-believers in front of us are children. Jesus said the kingdom of heaven belongs to children and we are to do nothing to keep them from coming to him (Matthew 19:14). City groups are a built-in opportunity for children to watch and join Christians praying for one another, studying the Bible together, meeting one another's needs, confessing sin, giving forgiveness, and enjoying each other. When done intentionally, this is an ideal space for children to witness and experience a gospel-centered community.
Apart from the opportunity to minister to children as non-believers, another benefit is that God uses the children in our City Groups to teach us in unexpected ways. The outward earnestness and neediness with which children live mirrors what our heart posture should be toward God (Matthew 18:3-4). There have been many times God has allowed me to see my own exhaustion, frustration, and need for Him through witnessing a young child’s tantrum. What a sweet reminder of my place in relation to the Father. Furthermore, there are Christians amongst the school-age children and youth of TPC. I personally have been blown away by their understanding of the Gospel at young ages, and God has used their words to soothe my heart on a number of tired Sunday mornings in PRDX Kids.
While speaking with a parent from my City Group on how to best include children, she said that the key is for the group to stay flexible. Do not hesitate to switch up the format of your gatherings to better accommodate the little ones. The needs of the group will likely change as infants grow into toddlers and toddlers into kids. Have periodic, open and honest conversations about what is working and what is not. Establishing a culture of openness and adaptability from the beginning allows everyone’s expectations and needs to be clear as well as limits conflict while navigating logistics. These group conversations also highlight that caring for the children in City Groups is the responsibility of all members, not only that of the parents.
City Group Leaders, be sure to consider children when preparing to lead your group. Consider their age, attention span, and abilities and invite them to participate in a way that is appropriate for them. For example, preschoolers may be set up with a quiet activity (e.g., coloring) in the room where the discussion is happening while a school-age child may be fully focused and participating in the conversation. Include them in discussion with age-appropriate questions and context and give them space to participate.
Leaders or members may discern that some topics of discussion are not suitable for little ears but are an important part of spiritual care and growth for the adult members. At times, uninterrupted, in-depth conversation is needed and may not be feasible with the amount or age of children in your group. Some solutions that have worked in other City Groups include members of the group rotating weekly to care for and teach children in a separate space of the house, men and women meeting separately and alternating care of the children week to week, and hiring some PRDX Kids team members to help with childcare. These solutions may not be ideal every week, but could be good options to implement for a season or on a monthly basis.
Other things to consider include meeting at a time that accommodates naps and bedtime, ensuring kid-friendly food is available when meals are served, and having a kid-friendly space for children to gather and play. Just as your City Group has a host and leaders, you may consider someone stepping into a child care coordination role. Their main focus in preparing for City Group each week would be to consider the children. He/she could help with the scheduling of rotating members, organizing crafts or activities, or coordinating the kid-friendly food. This role could be seasonal or shared among multiple people to allow a variety of City Group members the opportunity to serve the group in this way.
Finally, consider taking advantage of the videos and lessons from PRDX Kids. The PRDX Kids Live team has created some incredibly helpful (and hilarious) videos to go along with what children learn on Sundays at church. Replay the videos for them on YouTube and have a follow up discussion.
My prayer for TPC is that we would continue to grow in our inclusion of children in community, that we would feel the importance of intentionally including children and rightly seeing them as legitimate members of our City Groups, that God would stretch us in our thoughtfulness for one another, and that every child and family would be cared for. Including children in community is not something we will see perfected this side of heaven, but it is well worth fighting for.