A Letter To Those Who Might Fear Community

Many fear being known or walking into someone's house into a group of people they don't know or sharing life with people you're not sure you can trust. This is a letter from Rachel, a covenant partner at The Paradox and member of the Arlington City Group, written to someone who had that fear and, yet, in obedience to the bible calling us to deep community, overcame that fear.Dear Sweet Girl,You don’t know me and I don’t know you. There’s not a lot I can say that will explain to you why I am writing you this letter, but I am going to try my best. I think maybe this is my part of reaching out to someone who has just begun to fight a fear that I once had. I don’t know your story as to why you were afraid to go to a City Group and you don’t know mine either, but regardless of that fact I think it’s safe to say there is a chance we might understand each other because we both suffered in the same way.Perhaps your story is because of past church experiences, like mine was. Maybe you were ignored, maybe you were odd girl out, maybe no one took the time to get to know you, maybe you were told to leave, maybe you were misunderstood because you were different, maybe it was a look, maybe you were abused in some way, maybe too many unkind words were said that lead to your own self sabotage. Perhaps your story is not from within church, but an alienation of Christians themselves- I can honestly say some of us seem to have knack for that.My part in writing you is simply the fact that I wish I had someone tell me, some of the things that I would like to tell you. When I first went to a City Group, I nearly had a mental breakdown in my car before walking in simply because I was beyond afraid. I did walk in though, and I know you did too. That’s the first step and you took it, so be proud of yourself. I know it wasn’t easy.Perhaps you were afraid of being misunderstood. I was until I realized a testimony is never supposed to be a story of your faithfulness to God. You are not the hero of your own story, Christ is. Honesty speaks louder than any other version of your story, but there will never be a more valid testimony than Christ’s. If you are ashamed, you shouldn’t be. Suffering isn’t shameful and we are blessed to know its pleasure when we begin to see its fruit. We all have suffered in some way. It’s easy to think you have been singled out somehow and that no one will understand, but it is not true.Christ conquered death and through it we do have eternal life, but fear is a mere reflection of the death that tries to take over us. It’s an emotional death. What people don’t tell you is the easiest way for it to get to a Christian is to make you afraid of His people. Without people and community, you can’t flourish well. Maybe you have realized this already, but every trial you have faced and even overcome is a greater tool so that you may reach others better, even if it was placing one foot over the threshold of a stranger’s house. 

"...fear is a mere reflection of the death that tries to take over us. It’s an emotional death. What people don’t tell you is the easiest way for it to get to a Christian is to make you afraid of His people."

 Maybe by you walking in, your fear is entirely gone and I can say you are blessed beyond measure if that is so. Maybe it’s a slower process, like mine was. Whatever state you find yourself in, use it. You now have the ability to understand nearly every person that takes that same step, especially if they took it in fear as you and I did. You have the ability to realize that when you walk into a room of people who don’t know Jesus, you can understand the hesitation they may have at your invitation. You have the ability to minister to the majority of non-church-goers, in place of the minority of the ones that do. You behold a kind of empathy that can spread across the nation and actually mean something. There are too many Christians that play the “fake card”; get to know people and let them get to know you.I’m not guaranteeing that The Paradox is your saving grace, I can’t do that. I will say this though, there is always a place that you can flourish and flourish well. I will say, I don’t think it is a coincidence you ended up here. I will say that prayers were said for you, even if we don’t call them a prayer. I will say that when worship is played in church it is a prayer of vulnerability, so that your heart can soften and hear His word better. I will say that a sermon is a pastor’s prayer of things he wishes you to know, so that you may have joy and have it to the fullest. I will say this is a body that is trying and our limitations are few.My prayer for you is this:I pray that you continue to heal and I pray that at least your City Group becomes a part of it. I pray you realize what an accomplishment overcoming a fear like that is. I pray you look back and praise God, for every piece that fell into place so that you could know Him better. I pray you surpass your potential and be a woman of impact. I pray God reveals the desires He has for you and shows you His path so that you may reach it and walk in it. I pray God protects your delicate heart and shows you the beauty of uncomfortable feelings. I pray that if power falls where prayer focuses, that prayer becomes your greatest strength. I pray you see that you have reason to move and reason to love. I pray passion and discipline is ignited so that you can move with Him residing perfectly in your heart, guiding your mind and showing your hands to reach. I pray you can forgive others and even yourself, if you have to. I pray God leads you as you lead others. I pray your heart is at rest and I pray you receive encouragement when it seems too hard. I pray the only sensitivity that remains is a sensitivity to others, so that you can do more than treat them the way you wish you had been treated, but more, love them the way you have been loved in Christ. 

"I will say that prayers were said for you; I will say that when worship is played in church it is a prayer of vulnerability, so that your heart can soften and hear His word better. I will say that a sermon is a pastor’s prayer of things he wishes you to know, so that you may have joy and have it to the fullest. I will say this is a body that is trying and our limitations are few."

 My only hope is that in some way you are encouraged by this and know that you were prayed for by someone who gets it.With hope,Rachel