By Pastor Ryan KeeneyBiblical Living Pastor Threats of divorce, gossip, City Group in-fighting, arrogant pride, people isolating themselves, bitterness, partners leaving the church: these are things I face on a regular basis. And it is not all external. I had an epic fight with my wife recently. Conflict, strife and broken relationships are part of this world. The question is will we grace others, grow personally and glorify God in response to conflict?The Paradox Church is committed to handling conflict biblically so that we glorify God and build up the body of Christ. Since all relationships will be faced with disagreements and sin, we want to equip you to follow biblical principles as you work toward forgiveness and reconciliation. Below is an excerpt of a Tim Keller article. If you are dealing with conflict now or would like to be equipped to handle it biblically in the future please read the full article.“In its most basic and simple form, this teaching [on forgiveness and reconciliation] is that Christians in community are to never give up on one another, never give up on a relationship, and never write off another believer. We must never tire of forgiving (and repenting!) and seeking to repair our relationships. Matthew 5:23–26 tells us we should go to someone if we know they have something against us. Matthew 18:15–20 says we should approach someone if we have something against them. In short, if any relationship has cooled off or has weakened in any way, it is always your move. It doesn’t matter ‘who started it:' God always holds you responsible to reach out to repair a tattered relationship. A Christian is responsible to begin the process of reconciliation, regardless of how the distance or the alienation began.”“An unreconciled relationship is marked by avoidance, coldness, and irritability (that is, the same action performed by another person does not disturb you as much as it does when this person does it!) If you find yourself avoiding, being cold toward, or being very irritated with someone (or if you can tell that someone is cold or irritable toward you or avoiding you), then you probably have an unreconciled relationship.”As people reconciled to God by the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, we believe we are called to respond to conflict in a way that is remarkably different from the way the world deals with conflict. We also believe conflict provides opportunities to glorify God, serve other people, and grow into the image of Christ. In response to God’s love and by relying on his Spirit, we commit to respond in these biblical principles:- Deal with conflict with others humbly before the face of God and for his glory (Ephesians 4)- Own, confess, and repent of your sin. Ask for forgiveness from the other person(s) (Matthew 5)- Choose to overlook other’s minor offenses believing “love covers a multitude of sins”(1 Peter 4)- Lovingly address any ways the other person has wronged you. Forgive them(Matthew 18)- Pursue genuine peace and reconciliation“On both a theological and a practical level, forgiveness is at the very heart of what it means to be a Christian. True forgiveness comes at a cost and is pursued intentionally within a community of believers…The gospel calls us to speak the truth and honor what is right, to be endlessly forgiving as we do so and to never give up on the goal of a reconciled, warm relationship.”If you are dealing with conflict now or would like to be equipped to handle it biblically in the future please read this article. Also If You Bite and Devour One Another is a great book on this topic. Alexander Strauch lists out ten biblical principles to handle conflict biblically:
Act in the SpiritAct in loveAct in humilityControl the angerControl the tongueControl the criticismPursue reconciliationPursue peaceFace false teachersFace controversy
