Toy God
We've asked a Redemption Groups participant to blog their experience anonymously through our Fall 2015 cycle. Ultimately, the purpose is to bring glory to God for the good work He is/will be doing in the participant and others (Psalm 107).
The only way I know how to explain this paradigm shift is with a faulty metaphor. Have you ever been in a relationship that you thoroughly enjoyed and you found out something about the other person that forced you to reevaluate the way you relate to them? Maybe the person you call “Dad” turns out to be your adoptive father instead of your biological father or the person you’re dating tells you something unexpected about their past.It’s a bit like that. Nothing has really changed, but everything is different.The God I thought I knew is not Who I thought He was. He hasn’t changed, but I must see Him differently. The action figure version of God I had been worshipping is a god made in my image, a false god. This toy god was silent and uninvolved. When He wouldn’t step in and do what I wanted Him to do, I took it upon myself to intervene. The thing with action figures is that you have to manipulate them. Even then they don’t always do what you want them to do.
toy god is essentially me
It only makes sense that I would struggle to see toy god as good; toy god is essentially me. My thoughts, my values, my version of justice, and my view of suffering are not holy or all-knowing; they have no power or lasting impact. Like every sinner since Lucifer and Adam, I (wrongly) thought I would make a better God.I can’t keep my false god on the shelf as a beacon of nostalgia. It has to be destroyed. Yahweh is clear about not sharing His Glory with another. The relationship hasn’t changed, but suddenly it feels less familiar.Previously I held tightly to my understanding of God with clinched fists. Now I wait with open hands for Him to show me Who He really is.