My Tired Hands and Beating Heart | Week 2

During the Fall 2019 cycle of Redemption Groups, we’ve tasked an anonymous blogger with sharing their experience. The goal is to give you a taste of the power of Jesus that we get to see a glimpse of in Redemption Groups, and help you see why they are essential for the life of a TPC partner. This is the second of 7 entries.

These posts will only include the thoughts, feelings, and experiences of the anonymous blogger.

My Redemption Group has now become a safe haven for me.

This week I was able to “take a new grip with my tired hands” (Hebrew 12:12). Because I came in tired, knowing that I’d be continuing to grieve my pain and brokenness with my group, all the while still gripping tightly on to God as my eternal Hope. I may not understand the dimensions of my pain and where it all stems from, but I do know it’s a process that I get to walk out with God right by my side.

My prayer life has been refreshed this week. Like a relationship between two people in love, I felt sparks between Him and I again. Because it had been a while since we’ve had a good chat.

In front of my group I got to pray aloud to God. Which made my heart beat fast, in an excited way. It was not only a good way for God and I to connect, but a chance for my group to get a glimpse into what my conversations with God are like. This brought a depth to the intimacy and I broke.

As my tears fell, I was reminded of how near God is to me and that He’s actually never been far away. Somehow, opening my heart up to Him in prayer brought me back to that reality. What I’ve been seeing dimly got a little clearer.

There is no gap between me and God, like my fears and hopelessness of the future want me to believe. No, I get to run to Him, cling to Him, cry out to Him in any condition, all of the time.