God Works In My Silence | Week 3

During the Fall 2019 cycle of Redemption Groups, we’ve tasked an anonymous blogger with sharing their experience. The goal is to give you a taste of the power of Jesus that we get to see a glimpse of in Redemption Groups, and help you see why they are essential for the life of a TPC partner. This is the third of 7 entries.

These posts will only include the thoughts, feelings, and experiences of the anonymous blogger.

I did not want to share anything at redemption groups this week. I was tired and didn’t have the energy to talk about the things going on in my life. So, I didn’t. We ran out of time before it got to me anyways and that is okay.

I was more encouraged by other’s words and what they shared than whatever I may have opened up about. It was very unique, being able to listen to the other’s in my group crying out to God. I heard them pray prayers they had never prayed before which was a very intimate, worshipful thing to be apart of.

As they were pouring out their pain to God I found myself in their pain. As they cried, tears fell from my eyes too. It was a lament. In a way I experienced God’s redemption through their experience. Even though I didn’t get a window to share my personal details, it was evident how unified my group is in what we are all walking through. We are all facing different things, but we face one same thing- pain.

It’s easy to weep with those who weep when we understand our own suffering. We need each other to be honest about our grief just as much as our joy. The Bible says “It is better to go to the house of mourning than to go to the house of feasting, for this is the end of all mankind, and the living will lay it to heart.” Ecclesiastes‬ ‭7:2‬.

It is good to mourn, its good to go there. But we really need each other as we mourn. I experienced community instead of loneliness this week. I thought I would feel lonely not getting a chance to talk, but I was actually filled up by those who shared. To hear their faith well up through what they are processing encouraged my faith to well up. “I’m not alone” and “their story is very important” were some of my thoughts.

It was beautiful to sit and listen. It was beautiful to not rush things along but to get to sit with each other and look to Jesus so intimately.

Sometimes when we suffer all we see is our own suffering. Especially after this week, I want to avoid this. My hope for the remainder of redemption groups is for my heart to grow bigger and have a capacity to understand my grief more clearly. I want to be able to share in suffering with others better and more wisely. Not sharing but listening more this week encouraged me in this. I still got to share, I got to share silently in the mournings of someone else. And God was working in that and continues to work in our mourning.