Caring In Community

Aug 23

Written by Allison Ross, Published August 2021

Bio: As partner at The Paradox for just over 10 years, Allison serves as a Deacon of Redemption Groups, and is a member of the Oakhurst City Group. She works as a Professional Learning Specialist guiding teachers through the implementation of her company’s conceptual math program in their classrooms.

You did it. You took the onramp to the highway of discipleship and joined a City Group. Perhaps there were hesitations in taking this step or maybe it was easy to dive in - a rhythm that’s been part of your life for years. Regardless, you now find yourself in “a family of disciples on mission” in order to love God, love one another, and see people meet Jesus.

But what does it mean to care for and receive care from those in your City Group? How can we model family as God intended it rather than allowing our past experiences and cultural norms to serve as our greatest influencers?

Responding in Community

In the context of City Groups, whether in whole group discussion, a conversation with one individual, or a group chat, there are regular opportunities to communicate openly about our lives. Sometimes we share celebrations - a new job, a baby, healing, while at other times we share suffering, confess sin, express doubt, and ask for help. And how we respond to our group members in each of these scenarios matters.

While we might be eager to share joyous moments, the act of revealing our weaknesses does not always come so easily. The world tends to tell us that we should be strong, independent, say the right things to avoid getting “canceled”, and hide our true nature through filters. It’s no wonder why engaging with others honestly produces anxiety.

God’s Response

If we return to Eden in Genesis 3, we see how God responds to Adam and Eve in their weaknesses. After believing the lie of the serpent that they would be like God if they ate from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, they find themselves in hiding, suddenly aware of their nakedness.

God draws near. In their hiding, God was present and called to Adam (v. 8-9). God moved toward his people in their sin and suffering. He did not sit idly by hoping they would figure it out or chat about it with the members of the trinity because it felt uncomfortable to directly engage with sin and suffering. In our groups, do we go toward people who are struggling or shrink back because it feels like too much? Do we sit in silence hoping someone else will speak out of fear that we might disrupt the peace or say the wrong thing? Do we talk more about someone than to someone?

At times, entering into sin and suffering does feel like too much. We are fearful and do not know what to say. But God provides strength, casts out fear, and speaks through the Holy Spirit. Pray and ask God how to respond - and sometimes that response is simply being present without uttering a word.

God asks questions. God is all-knowing, yet he asks, “Where are you?”, “Who told you that you were naked?”, “Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?”, and “What is this you have done?” (v. 9-13).

We often respond to the suffering and sin of others by operating out of assumptions rather than asking questions to understand the other individual’s perspective. Because we interact with people in general and may relate to their situation, we forget to see someone as uniquely created with their own experiences. In his book Instruments in the Redeemers Hands, Paul Tripp reminds us that, “When you assume, you do not ask. If you do not ask, you open yourself up to a world of invalid conclusions and misunderstandings.” If God seeks to understand, how much more, in our limited nature, should we do the same?

God acknowledges the reality of the situation. After listening to the responses of Adam and Eve, God addresses the serpent, Eve, and Adam by stating the consequences of their sin (v. 14-19). God does not breeze past their sin or soften the blow to ease the pain of it. Whether we are suffering because of our own sinful actions, from sin committed against us, or for unknown reasons, identifying brokenness reminds us of our insufficiencies and our need for restoration found in Jesus.

Of course, the way in which we address consequences and brokenness matters. As believers, we speak the truth in love (Eph. 4:15) out of a posture of humility, knowing that we also are sinful and only receive righteousness through the death and resurrection of Jesus. We speak through the Holy Spirit with discernment for the purpose of encouragement and building up rather than condemnation and shame.

God reclothes. Adam and Eve stood exposed before God, literally and figuratively. In this state, God did not abandon them or simply marvel at their vulnerability. He made garments for them. When members of our City Group reveal sin or pain, do we seek to clothe them in the truth of God’s word? Do we remind them that God loves it when we run to him in our hurt? Do we speak of the Father’s inexhaustible grace for his children? Do we share about God’s righteous anger and justice for the abused and neglected?

Vulnerability and reclothing extend beyond conversations. Often physical or financial needs are shared with City Group members - help with moving, childcare, transportation, or medical bills. Expressing such a need in a world that tells you should be able to provide for yourself is challenging! Do we honor one another when those needs are expressed through our responses and provisions? If we cannot provide in the way that is asked, do we seek out other means or simply stay silent?

The Perfect Provider

The Lord calls us to care for one another sacrificially. We share our words, giftings, time, possessions, and finances as a reflection of His care for us. Yet, no matter how many Meal Trains you join, edifying conversations you have, or dollars you contribute you cannot provide better than the Lord himself. He created his children and knows them intimately (Psalm 139). He will not leave or forsake his people (Deut. 31). His love is steadfast and endures forever (Psalm 136). He is the ultimate caregiver and we can find rest in Him knowing that he is working all things for the good of those who love him (Rom. 8:28).