By Name Initiative :: Brokenness & Discipline

My wife and I have broken the rules a little bit when it comes to the By Name Initiative. She chose 5 people and I chose 4. Out of the 9 people we have chosen, 6 of them are family and one is a boyfriend of a family member. The other 2 people that we are praying for are my friends that I have had the opportunity to share the gospel with for about 6 months now. There are so many different scenarios throughout our relationships with these people. They range from the “impossible person,” to someone who is “openly seeking something.” One thing that has been revealed to me throughout this process is that every single one of them is running to something for happiness. They all desire happiness in their lives, and most of them are pursuing it in things they have heard will give them the happiness that they so desperately desire. This is heard all day, every day, from a world that never stops preaching. My heart has moved from thinking that praying for others is something I need to do as a Christian, to being genuinely broken for them because of their futile pursuits.As my heart has been moved and my prayers for them have become more passionate, I have found God revealing the truth of my own brokenness to me through my prayer. One of my biggest struggles is running back to self-righteousness. I tend to believe that I have to earn God’s grace and it is very burdensome when I am running to that lie rather than resting in the truth that Christ’s righteousness has been placed upon me. What has been beautiful is that through praying very specifically that God would reveal to them the futility of their worship, and expose them regularly to the truth, I have seen the truth in my own life. When we started this, I was very angry and tired. I had gone from a place of much peace and joy, to running back to the lie of earning God’s grace, and I was very exhausted. When I would pray for these people by name; however, and see the truth in the lies that they are believing, I was able to see the counter-truth to my lie and rest in it. 

"I have found God revealing the truth of my own brokenness to me through my prayer."

 Another thing I struggle with is consistency and discipline. I always set out to do things well and tend to utterly fail at those goals. Through this process I have been reminded over and over again that neither God’s grace or His plan for them rests on my shoulders. When I fail in my commitment to praying for our friends and family, I have been able to repent and turn back to Jesus. This, of course, leads to much joy and happiness, which leads to praying for them with more passion, excitement, and confidence that God is a powerful God, and He loves us very dearly!You can find other stories of how God has worked through the By Name Initiative here.