Finding Joy in Sacrifice

I have become such a major god in my own life that I condone, offer and approve all of my sacrifices. Life has become a bartering system. God will ask for 7, and I give him 6 with a promise of more 'when I am ready'. On a daily basis I sacrifice, but only that which I choose. Can I even call that sacrifice?

"For it is impossible for the blood of bulls and goats to take away sins." Hebrews 10:4

My daily slaughtering of metaphorical bulls and goats is only impressive to my ego. The blood feeds my idols. It serves a different master than the One who created me. My daily sacrifices are deeply rooted in selfish causes like pleasing others, feeding comfort and disillusioning my heart to believe I have worth in my own works apart from Him. I will tell myself I need to wait longer to say something because other people would find it awkward. I will refuse to come to the aid of someone because that would be awkward. I will give up confession and repentance because I feel like my good works are good enough.This way of life becomes dangerous because you trick yourself into thinking that you are enough to correct your standing before God. You think the easy sacrifices, like the volunteer work or the tithing, means you understand His mission and are aptly living for Him. You unintentionally sacrifice moments he may have divinely created to spread His message. You kill the opportunity to spread true joy because you valued others' thoughts above His will.There are sporadic times I have actually been able to sacrifice what He asked. I've died to myself and forgave someone, for instance. Each time this happens, though, I am nervous. I feel insane making a decision that is opposite my fickle emotions. I want to shout and stomp around. It's not fair. I am getting shafted, I tell myself. What about my feelings? Sometimes I eventually calm myself down enough to forgive, and the result is always the same: a perfect peace and abundant glory.Even in joyous moments we are capable of slaughtering bulls and goats. God wants us to be happy.Do you believe that? Do you believe the happiness in your life is a blessing? Or are you like me, occasionally wondering when seemingly deserved pain will rain down on my current happiness?We cannot continue to be our own kill-joys. There is enough darkness in this world and we must fight for true joy every day we wake. Stop seeing life as a minefield embedded with God's traps. God doesn't always demand which is most dear to you.But that doesn't mean he demands nothing.Our sinful nature tricks us into believing the blessings God bestowed upon us are actually ours. When He takes them away, we feel it must be a punishment. We never see a God move that contradicts our wicked heart as a blessing. Every time you hurt from sacrifice, you are being sanctified. Is that not at least one blessing in your turmoil? Does he not become the great God we need when he calms the storms? Or perhaps he doesn't calm them, but we make it through with breath in our lungs. Praise God, right? Purpose still exists because He has seen you through. Even if He rips the cherished from your life, it's only to show you the source of true happiness.He is the Good King. The beautiful thing about sacrifice in accordance with His will is that it always glorifies Him.In death, Christ redeems. In suffering, He redeems. In sacrifice, He redeems.Sacrifice should be motivated by a desire to live in accordance with His will. When discerning your sacrificial moments, call on Him and seek understanding. Do not slaughter bulls and goats for no purpose but your own.In those moments leading up to a sacrifice, ask: Who is this for? The life and love of Christ does not ask you to work for any glory but His. I sacrifice goats and bulls for which God never asked because it makes me look good. My name gets glory and my reputation is built up.Sometimes I bring a sacrifice to his altar, but not the sacrifice for which he called. We refuse to believe that His plan is better. We refuse to rely on His powerful knowledge and choose our ways instead. We turn blessings into nothingness when the answer to a joyful, Christ-centered life is to turn yourself into nothingness.The Good King doesn't not desire to steal all joy from your hands by asking for unneeded sacrifices in your honor.The Gospel is the one thing He asks us to grasp. It is the only way joy, in suffering and out of it, is possible. A life with God increases joy because it creates joy in all of life, in our saddest days and our most glad.We haphazardly grab onto this world's small joys that consistently fail. We do this because deep down, we believe joy exists somewhere. Pure, unadulterated, everlasting joy is our heart's greatest desire. And yet, we settle for imperfect, fleeting and failing joys day in and day out.He put joy in your heart when he sacrificed His son. That pulsating tension you feel in your heart every moment you have to give up something is just a flicker that retells the outpouring of love that happened on the cross. It's a reminder that you owe everything but He paid it all.We aren't called to forever clasped our hands around our current blessings. We are asked to hold, unswervingly, to the hope we have in Christ's death and resurrection. Let go of everything else and suddenly nothing is sacrifice. It's life. The ups and downs are joyful, because your hope is not lost. He gives and takes away. And yet, it's all still held together by Him. He is still with you and your hope is still sitting at His right hand.Until you lay yourself on the altar and die, you'll never find the joy you desire. Go and die because He came and died. Become a part of His story. Revel in the gifts he lavishes on His people, but never let go of the Gospel for those material blessings.His perfect plan always works and it almost certainly involves sacrifice in accordance with His will. What it never requires is you.Nick Dean is a partner at The Paradox and a member of The Commons City Group. He blogs at bynickdean.com