Stone to Flesh: A Journey of Heart Change
By Josh KerchoMy whole life I've easily picked things up. When I got plugged into the church and God's people for the first time in college, I was able to quickly pick up on this Christianity thing. I knew a lot of the Bible quickly; to this day it is a blessing to recall passages of Scripture.Here was the problem: I didn't know the Gospel.In high school, on paper I was a good kid. I was in all the honors/AP/gifted classes and made good grades. If you were anyone but my parents (at the time) then you'd also know that I was a pretty epic pothead. I was bored, looking for something interesting to do, so I turned to experimentation.At 18, my best friend had too much to drink one night. Early the next morning he opted to drive home and he wrecked, wrapping his car around a tree without wearing a seatbelt. He was thrown from the vehicle. His heart stopped twice while in the helicopter that took him to the hospital. He was in critical condition for a month and didn't walk across the stage with us at graduation.When he did come around, his life was exactly the same and mine wasn't. Tired of what I was doing, and kind of terrified of where I was going, I changed and decided to surround myself with Christians to see what I was missing. I wanted to be around the church because the people were so nice, encouraging and kind.I didn't really experience the kind of life and heart change we talk about week after week at The Paradox, though. Most of college I lived trying to impress and earn God's love. I could blame the culture of a conservative town where drinking and dancing is wicked and sinful. Looking deeper, though, I realize it was all what I wanted. I wanted a god I could control. I hadn't encountered the true God who doesn't need anything from us; who loved me before I was born and despite knowing I'd continually offend him.I never categorized myself as self-righteous, but I was. Apart from Jesus, I wanted God to love me on my terms because of how well I'd done.In reality, He only loved me for what Jesus had accomplished.My circumstances and behaviors changed and I called that salvation. But I was still the old Josh. I lived like the teachers of the law who tried to put new wine into old wineskins. Since the Gospel didn't make sense to me, I kept filling my life’s wineskin with old wine.Pastor Jim said it best: These guys just don't get it.Are you a teacher of the law? Do you decide your worth before God, and is it based on your behavior? Can you ever be good enough to account for how sick you are with sin?No. But thanks be to God that He is.We have an intrinsic need to be identified, validated and loved. God intended it this way, but it manifests in thousands of ugly, sinful ways when we seek those needs from sources apart from Him. Adding religion to our lives is trying to impress a self-made god that will still not validate us, tell us we're good enough or love us in our mistakes. The inclination of the human heart in religion is to create a god who is waiting for us to screw up, and not one like Jesus, who stands ready to forgive.Jesus finally broke through my heart of stone and transformed it into a heart of flesh. The Gospel means I can't get self-righteous without looking pathetic. I didn't earn this. I continually sin against my God. I define my needs and wants. I live my life like I don't need him. When in need, I hit my Jesus piñata with a stick and expect candy.God, in all his infinite patience and kindness, doesn't destroy me, doesn't punish me, and doesn't withdraw his love from me. He gives his Son who stands ready to forgive, love, and graciously give Himself.My final plea for all of us is Paul's to the Romans:
"…[D]o you presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God's kindness is meant to lead you to repentance?"Romans 2:4
The God of the Bible, who overflows with mercy and grace, stands ready to forgive you, melting your heart and empowering you to return to Him where you’ll find true joy and rest.Josh Kercho leads the Near Southside City Group. He wrote this in response to a sermon from The Good King series.